Monday, March 31, 2003 10:47 PM
Longest Three Weeks
I’ve been slaving in front of the computer for the past week that I finally got sick and tired of it, I decided to grab a jacket, head out the door, and go to Rockwell. I watched Chicago. Finally.
I rewarded myself with this little night out last Saturday. The world went about its business as usual, oblivious to the fact that somewhere, in this metropolis, a pol eco student is dealing with depression and masochism just to get passing grades, good enough to get out of the university as soon as possible. Nothing outside my life in the university changed. Same old, same old.
I wanted to get away from everything, especially school. (One of the disadvantages of living in front of the university is the horrible moments of seeing it in times where you don’t really want to). I just do not want to be in contact with anyone related to my course for just a few hours. I want to clear my mind from thinking about the institute’s inability to deliver the proper education, from cursing against its director for keeping me from graduating (yes, the second chance is out the window, ces’t la vie!), from getting paranoid with the upcoming comprehensive exams where it will decide my fate for the next few years. I want to get away from all of it. I am sick and too damned tired from everything that the institute tells us to do.
And in the spirit of bitterness and exhaustion, depression and paranoia, (may the readers of this blog excuse me for saying this), let it rip:to hell with the institute of political economy.
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I talked to the Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences this afternoon. Doc T was kind enough to ask me about what was happening in my life. Finally told him I wasn’t going to law school anymore because of the delay (don’t know how long yet). I explained why. Of course, he wouldn’t side with me, I’m a student, he’s defending his university; but at least I got to talk with him about my frustrations. And he agreed that I wasn’t emotionally mature for law school just yet. Although he did recommend me to Ateneo. I’ll probably go to law school at some point in my life. Just not now. I want to finish what I’ve started first. And I will finish it.
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Funny thing of all this, the more the frustrations and conspiracies that go on within the class, I am more determined to specialize in political economy. I mean, the wild idea of actually getting an MA abroad in pol eco and teaching in the institute is becoming more and more appealing. Getting a PhD would be the most outrageous concept I’ve had this week. And kicking out a useless director… well, that’s another blog. All I know is, this is all for the sake of education and the institute.
And then the next priority would be world domination. (why do you think I decided to take up pol eco in the first place?) Mwahahaha! I already got the sinister, madman laugh down, all I need now is the resources…
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oh and of all the scenes in the movie. My absolute favorite is the Cell Block Tango where six women murderers tell their gruesome stories of how they murdered their significant other. Very informative, really. I mean, did you know that poisoning a person with arsenic would the best strategy? It’s hard to trace the cause of death if a person dies from consuming the substance.
My next favorite is the part where they had a press conference. Richard Gere manipulated all the strings of all the puppet reporters, he was the ventriloquist that literally put the words on Renee Zellweger’s lips. Can you just see the evil and sadistic line of thinking I have right now? The perks of being a woman… really…
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I’m listening to Evanescence’s Bring Me To Life right now. And for a jazz person like me, that’s how demented I feel at this moment.
I downloaded the Cell Block Tango today. Hehehe! he had it coming! he had it coming all along!.
Favorite line in the movie: ”…and he ran into my knife… he ran into my knife ten times…
Saturday, March 29, 2003 11:27 AM
Free Time
Free time is a paradox. Just like time management is a paradox. One cannot exactly manage one’s time, it’s out of one’s control. And free time? It is never free, It comes with a price. Always.
But there is such a thing as idle time. And that is bad, especially for a very contemplative person like me. I have this tendency to over-analyze things, to let my imagination and assumptions get the best of me, and to let my conclusions elevate into principles.
Most of all, I get nostalgic of the things that I have no business in remembering anymore --- especially when it comes to love.
I welcome stress and busy-ness just to not let myself be reminded. For the past week of cramming and blogging, I thought I finally got him out of my system. No, it didn’t happen (not that I was expecting it). The memories just took a backseat in the roller-coaster ride of my student life. And at the first moment where my mind was vacant of the things I should be thinking right now, his wit, charm, and sense of humor invades my hindsight. Damn!
I remember him still. Even as I am writing this right now, pouring my heart out to the world, regardless of whether people who read this know me or not, regardless of whether he, by chance, finds this or not. I remember everything about him, the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, the intensity of his gaze when he talks, the feel of his hands when they hold mine… every single damned thing. And each little moment was beautiful, which is why I could never result to resentment in order to forget.
He once said I had such animosity against romance. Now I remember why: Love is not cruel, I believe. My memories are.
Friday, March 28, 2003 6:59 PM
Contemplating on Pol Eco
My teacher for comparative politics comes up today after class and suddenly asks me, did you really want to be in pol eco? I answered her question with a very firm yes, and added, “it was my first choice even before enrolling in UA&P”.
Hmmm… somehow, her question triggered a contemplative mood. Yes, I did choose to take up political economy ever since. I love the idea of taking up pol eco. I love pol eco when I took my first subjects for it. I love pol eco still, even when it is making my life miserable (and trust me, my life in pol eco is misery personified).
And I am not shifting.
It’s funny, the more I think about it. Every time, someone asks me what my course is and I reply, they always have this surprised look on their faces and either say, “no kidding! Really?” or “I thought you’re in COMM” or (if I really shock the person) both. Some girl can’t even control herself and shrieked, ”Ulol! Talaga?”
Okay, so you don’t see it in my face that I am in pol eco. The stereotype calls for the nerdy look, complete with really thick glasses. I, on the other hand, do wear glasses but only at home or when I need to read a lot in school, but I refuse my eyesight (no matter how poor it is) to be entrapped in a four-sided frame that I decided to get contacts. And nobody has ever told me that I look like a nerd. My wardrobe may not be all that, but I think I still look normal
I am a pol eco student who does not look like a pol eco student.
But this does not bother me. What bothers me is the question that my teacher asked today. Political economy is a serious specialization and somehow, do I not give the impression that I’m a serious student? Oh God! If only people in that freakin’ institute knew… No offense to Ms Katinka on this one, at least she knows our pain.
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Just watched The Mirror has Two Faces. One of my favorite movies… awww… don’t you just hate it when you watch romantic movies and you’re not with someone and you get constantly reminded of your ex or worse, the one you want to be with who can’t be with you? Gaaahhh! Okay, switch channel to 36, might catch the last five minutes of Kim Possible.
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The Institute of Political Economy has failed me. The Institute has failed everybody in my course. This is what Katinka (the only sympathizer among the professors) said today and I agree with her. We have worked so hard, literally slaved over papers, research, and exams, and then what do we get? Low grades and the frightening possibility of not graduating on time. But this is not the thing that’s bothering me. What really bothers me the most is the fact that professors are bombarding us with all this work and at the end of the day, we wouldn’t even have the sanity nor the strength to say “oh I learned something new today”. Education is a process of reflection. Contemplating on what you’ve read. Actually digesting the information and giving you the chance to form your own factual opinions in order to contribute to the world --- for the sake of wisdom! And what do those people in their ivory tower do? Judging our intelligence through the guise of numbers, like it matters to the world. All I can say is, may God have mercy on their souls.
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Some of my friends and I are thinking about convincing the whole block to boycott the comprehensive exams, a protest against the harshness of the Institute. Very, very tempting.
Thursday, March 27, 2003 6:44 PM
Sweet Slumber, let me succumb to thee!!
for the past five days, my average sleeping time would probably be 3 hours a night. my diet would consist of sixty per cent brewed coffee. Last night i only slept for an hour and a half, woke up at midnight and panicked... did my two papers, went to class at 9am went home for lunch to finish everything, remembered that my printer was out of ink, and then encountered a paper jam. oh yeah... all the things that could have prevented me from submitting those two papers today happened to me, except getting killed.
Finally, at long last, i finished my requirements for Dr. Terosaaaa!!!!
who's the girl?! oh yeah!
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hmmm... okay that's enough celebrating. let's do an accounting (ulp!) of the papers i still have to do:
5 papers for the J-man on intl pol eco
+7 papers for Fr. de Torre on philosphy & eco (these i'm saving for dessert)
+1 paper for salao on the treaty of elysee
+1 paper for katinka on military & asian politics
14 papers ( waahh!... and i thought i had 11 left na lang)
maybe i should have gotten myself killed today...
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can't believe i'm writing my resume for my practicum! yes! i finally get to see what the world out there is like! i hope i'll work for an NGO...
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saw something really unusual in school today: a student typing on a typewriter! a real one! haven't seen those in a while... they kind of have this melody whenever you put your thoughts on paper with those lovely keys... okay, the typewriter he brought didn't exactly look like this and i'm not usually into antique stuff, but i remember my dad used to have an antique typewriter and i liked playing with it... that was one of the moments that made me realize i love words... i love writing...
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Had my last class with Fr. de Torre this morning. I feel so sad... It's always a pleasure to write papers for him. I'm going to miss that priest! won't see him anymore unless i go to the confessional... ahehehe...nevermind.
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eeeekkk! my phone just beeped. my friend says she has a crush on Dr. Terosa... obviously, she lacks sleep as well
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only three weeks to go till the semester finally ends. and then the moment of truth, will i graduate this year?
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will he ever text me tonight?? will he ever miss me again??
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okay, this is my cue to get some sleep. 
7:27 AM
Big Trouble
Finished my other paper! Yey!! But I'm still in page 1 for that 8-pager... uh-oh... I am sooooo dead... i can hear the blade of the guillotine being sharpened... they're pulling the rope... oh no...
if i don't blog tonight *sniff* *sniff*, i'd probably be sleeping...
1:20 AM
Off with my Head!
shit! i fell asleep. The two cups of coffee i drank in cinnzeo didn't even keep me awake. It's 1am already. I am soooo dead! have two papers to write. One of which requires 8 pages single-spaced.
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What the hell am i going to do??? i hear the funeral march in the background. i am not going to curse... i am not going to curse... I am not going to curse...
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got into trouble with my classmates... could life be any more wicked?
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he still has not texted! waaaahhh!!!
Wednesday, March 26, 2003 9:58 PM
What do you think?
The J-man gave a announcement today concerning the people who got an INC in the thesis proposal (there are others aside from me)
He said that he will give another chance to those people who want to graduate to defent their proposals on April 25 (a month from now) I am suspicious, yet thankful, that he suddenly grew a heart. Now, the big question: Should I consider?
These are the options and the possible outcomes:
1. submit and defend the proposal on April 25
---fifty-fifty chance of passing. If I pass, i'll graduate in May 31, get a job, wait for acceptance to University of Sydney, go take the MA in Intl Studies in USyd, if accepted. this was the original plan.
---if i fail, take the class again in second semester next year which means a one-year delay.
2. not submit and defend on April 25
---take my time in first semester to complete the proposal, pass it, defend it, get my diploma (if i pass) and apply for USyd for MA.
---if i still don't pass in first semester, take the subject again in second semester and pass it this time (dapat lang!)
oh, but its more complicated:
---provided if I fail or complete the subject, I can still take the Masters subjects but not do the MA Thesis since the proposal is a prerequisite. I shall do the MA Thesis in 2004-2005, graduate in May 2005. This should mean a two-year delay from the projected graduation date. Should I even think about this? My specialization is inspired by International Politics and Economics but an MA degree from UA&P is not even internationally credited...
what my dad said: "you have my prayers, but my love will always be there'" (awww... text message is still in my inbox)
what my mom said: "complete the proposal first semester, don't take the MA anymore, take the rest of the year off (you need rest), go to USyd" (she's so cool...)
what my sis said: haven't told her yet.
what my friends say: "go for the May 31 graduation, get a job, take the MA in USyd"
2:31 AM
At 2:20 am
I am listening to Manhattan Transfer singing Java Jive, a sweet nostalgia of my days with the university chorale. When was the last time that i really sang my heart out? A coupla weeks ago, in my shower, belting out Paint it Black by Michelle Branch (I like her type of music but not that much). good thing the neighbors didn't complain. The couple next door would most likely do that, so I try to sing in the nicest possible way I can (hah!)... but then I forget, especially when i have those moments that everything is drowning me that i just can't take it anymore that i just have to shout and singing like crazy would be the only solution... yup, i get those moments, especially at this time of the year, finals and requirements coming at me like there's no tomorrow.
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why oh why???
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I am trying to type this paper for Dr. Terosa. I just had to listen to Java Jive while i do this. I keep hearing his voice in my head saying that i won't be able to finish it on time. i am cramming again!!! Gaaahhh!!!
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i remembered my sister today.
Haven't seen her for two years. It's funny. I don't miss her like i miss certain people. This DOES NOT mean i don't love her coz I so do! She has a two-year-old daughter with curly blonde hair. Kano kase ang tatay. Her name is Nichole and babysat her for two months two years ago when my mom sent me to the US for a vacation. (Actually, it was more like rehab. I got so stressed from school and a breakup that i hyperventilated in Ms. Rosa's class for no physical reasons at all). One question that really haunts me from time to time is: what would life be like if I was born exactly a year after my sis? If that happened, I'd be thirty-three by now. Fourteen years is a REALLY long gap for just two siblings.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003 11:40 PM
Everything but the kitchen sink
I slept... completely forgetting that i have an exam tomorrow (on futsal, i have a written exam on futsal!
). but hey. at least i'll get to see the cute coach, right? i got a busy day tomorrow. have class from 7-12, have to go to DENR in QC from 12-3, and got to go back for Ambassador Zeller's class at 3 and listen to him till 6:30... i just hope i'll get the car tomorrow morning. i called up the superviser of the company this morning and really complained... hehehe!
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read bundi's blog... i know that so-called teacher, i had him four semesters ago, same subject. it's funny coz i still remember the first day of class. i was sitting in front with my barkada when he suddenly entered and sat down in front of me. He was cute... really cute... UNTIL he started speaking. Big turn-off. What happened? Well, let's just say my intellectual state of mind (provided that it was literature, the real addiction i couldn't get enough of) was not exactly satisfied with the way he handled the discussion. I really feel bitter about it. I've been waiting since freshman year to take up Dante in third year and suddenly, this guy (wouldn't even call him a teacher) ruins the whole intellectual experience for me. all i remember from his class was the eternal search for patterns from one canto to the next and he didn't even explain the reason why i should do dat. gaaaah!!! he's the only teacher that i got so frustrated with that i insulted... very evil of me, i know. but he deserved it. literature is supposed to be inspiring, a refuge from the other classes, not a venue for wanna-be teachers who want to prove the relevance of their unnecessary existence. yes, i am still that mad. and Bundi? i know what you're going through. One advice: make sure that paper of yours is really mababaw coz that's the only way it's going to get anywhere in his "standards".
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some of my classmates had their defense for their thesis proposals today. Was supposed to be one of them, but oh well... I hope they did a good job. i heard the J-man and the other panelists were vicious (may be likened to pit vipers waiting for their innocent prey). anyway, just want to tell the world that i am really proud of them for getting this far. they deserve more 1.0's than anyone can imagine. We call this pic ANARCHY (coz it looks chaotic, like what John Hobbes conceptualized). i'm not in it... I was the one who took the picture.
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as for the rest of my papers and my exams next week, God help me.
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love life? well, non-existent still. my friend texted me today and admitted that he fell in love with this girl who left for the states... that's not his only problem. the girl is married. ces't la vie!
6:22 PM
Papers... papers... and more papers (One down, eleven more to go)
Finally finished my paper on globalization; now i'm trying to decide if I should send it to Michael Veseth... I have to get started on that paper for Dr. Terosa. Wait, shouldn't I even get some sleep first? The bed beckons me...
I can't keep this up anymore. I'm soooo tired!! Can't figure out whether I should hire a masseuse or a research assistant.
9:34 AM
Omens
I am going to die. Dr. Terosa just told me that he doesn’t believe I could turn in a good paper in two days (even if he was impressed with my proposal and did not make me do any revisions anymore). It’s true, I think, unless I have superhuman skills and a brain like Doogie Howser (remember that show?), my cramming will only turn up an ok paper (if I’m lucky), not an excellent one. I am, admittedly, the Queen of Procrastination.
Come to think of it… how many papers have I crammed and submitted that could have been beautiful and logical opuses? How many papers for Avila could I have written that should satisfy his ravenous appetite for blood and guts? Well, it takes two to tango, really, to ruin one’s life. Because of the J-man’s colossal cockiness and his chauvinistic tactlessness in class, I have never been inspired enough to inspire him. And unless I am one Brian Belen, I will never get that 1.0 that could have compensated my sleepless nights, depression, and hysterics.
No, I just had to chose the course designed for the masochists, where teachers don’t always smile and ask how you’re doing, where professors do not take the extra mile to make sure that you pass and graduate on time.
I have already received an INC in one subject… and if I pass everything else (final exams, comprehensive exams and all), that’s the only thing keeping me in UA&P. I’ll finish that paper in the first semester, get my diploma, if ever, and wait for May next year to march. What will I do till then? Take up the MA that has disillusioned the many students into staying in this school for five grueling years? If ever I do take up the MA in Political Economy, I’ll have to overstay for two more years --- one more year for my MA subjects and another for my MA thesis. And please, for the sake of my sanity, two more years of having to deal with that… that… (can’t even think of words to describe him) of an institute director is simply horrifying!
I’ll end up in that place in Mandaluyong where straightjackets are an eternal fashion statement. But still…
As for Dr. Terosa, well… he’s such a nice man contrary to what many students think. In class, you’ll know the meaning of discipline. Never enter his classroom without preparing yourself for total annihilation. If ever you don’t condition yourself for the humiliation in store for the next hour and a half, you’ll come out of that air-conditioned room bleeding, with a big cut from the navel to your chin, exposing your inner organs that have made you go on the life that you have dreaded and anticipated to live. Okay, I am giving you a gruesome imagery, but it is true. And yet, amidst his very strict demeanor, my classmates and I are still inspired (more inspired, in fact) to write papers and pass exams for him. Last week, in our last meeting when we were saying our casual goodbyes, we applauded him. My class has never done this before. We were that thankful and we wanted him to know that even though we did frustrate him sometimes, we weren't the spoiled pol eco brats like we seemed. His subject (Economic History and Development) was a confection that we didn’t deserve to have (but had anyway) amidst the Calvary that is Political Economy. And if ever, I don’t get the high grades I wanted, I’ll still be satisfied because ten years from now, I know I’ll still remember the things I have learned. He is that good a professor, a UA&P Morrie Schwartz, the stern version.
12:15 AM
You know what? This blogging thing is doing me a lot of good... It's keeping me from thinking about *him*! Yey! My room-mate told me I haven't even mentioned anything about him the whole day... Does this mean I am recuperating from the loss? hahaha! Whatever!
anyway, here's something to reflect about: There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and, dance like no one's watching. All I can say is... aray!
Monday, March 24, 2003 11:27 PM
Day 3 of my life with a blog
Guess what happened today? I just got out of the library and was on my way home when this mini-van abruptly pulled up in front of me. No, I didn’t get grabbed by people in ski masks inside; but three policemen in motorcycles did follow. Turned out the student driving parked in a tow-away zone and ignored the cops. He thought he could outrun them. And then a tow truck came. There was a lot of commotion. Even one of the Opus Dei priests got curious.
Anyway, the funny thing was, while the cops and the guilty student-fugitive were talking (more like yelling), the driver of the tow truck got out and joined the exciting parody of Philippine crime-busting. While my friends and I were crossing the street, for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why the truck was moving backwards when there was nobody inside. The scene kinda reminded me of that movie where killer trucks came alive because they were all possessed. I watched that when I was in grade school and it scared the daylights out of me. But that tow-truck kanina… I think those cops arrested the wrong driver.
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This reminds me of the incident four years ago that made my freshman batch infamous in UA&P. A guy from Section N (Section Notorious) got arrested for pointing a gun at a part-time professor in traffic. Apparently they were both kupal drivers. The student got so pissed with the prof’s driving antics that he literally blocked the prof’s car, got his gun and threatened him. Well, the student is not in school anymore. He got expelled. There were cops in school the next day and they got him out of the classroom. They brought him to the dean (with handcuffs on!). Wherever that guy is, I hope the next time he pulls a stunt like that, he should make sure that the parking sticker is not so damn conspicuous! (UA&P had a bright neon orange sticker that time).
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Michael Veseth, author of Globaloney and dean of the institute of international political economy in the University of Puget Sound emailed me today and gave me permission to quote him in my paper on globalization. The thing is, he is asking if I could email him a copy of my paper! Eeep!
I’m still making my paper… I can’t believe it’s midnight and I’m drinking coffee to keep me awake…
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I saw Jimbo today, he was asking if COMELEC already liquidated the twelve thou that OSA gave. I honestly don’t know…. And I’m getting worried, Mica lost the receipts… Woops!
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Aaarrrggghhh! My car is still in the shop. It’s been there since Thursday last week and I really need to go to Goethe Institute tomorrow!!
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Can you believe that there was this guy who suddenly pointed out that I looked really sabog? talk about friendly elevator chitchat!
11:43 AM
here's an email i got from a high school classmate. (ey rico, haven't seen you in a very long, long time, i swear!). I just couldn't resist it... hehehe!
Subject: Judas
St Peter, in a very worried state, called all of his
apostles and disciples to an emergency meeting because of
the high drug consumption problem all over the world.
After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion
that in order to better deal with the problem, they should
try the drugs themselves and then decide on the correct way
to proceed. It was therefore decided that a commission made
up of some of the members return to earth to get the
different types of drugs.
Two days later the commissioned disciples begin to return
to heaven. St Peter, waiting at the door, lets in the first
disciple:
"Who is it?"
"It's Paul"
St Peter opens the door.
"What did you bring, Paul?"
"Hashish from Morocco"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Mark"
St Peter opens the door.
"What did you bring, Mark?"
"Marijuana from Colombia"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Matthew"
St Peter opens the door.
"What did you bring, Matthew ?"
"Cocaine from Bolivia"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's John"
St Peter opens the door.
"What did you bring, John ?"
"Crack from New York"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Luke"
St Peter opens the door.
"What did you bring Luke ?"
"Speed from Amsterdam"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Judas"
St Peter opens the door.
"What did you bring, Judas ?"
"The FBI........EVERYONE UP AGAINST THE WALL!"
Sunday, March 23, 2003 8:01 PM
Fools… are still Fools
I checked the paper today and found myself in the lifestyle section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, which I never usually open. (I avoid the headlines now… the war is depressing me…). The title ”Why do Fools Fall In Love?” caught my attention and I couldn’t resist reading it. The whole article, written by Anne A. Jambora, is summarized into this simple sentence:
It’s the most talked-about incident on FM radio today: A lovestruck Fil-Am comes home to propose to his girl on air, only to find out he has been taken for a ride.
Oh yes, it’s not a fictional literary work conjured up by a cynical broken-hearted person. It’s a true-to-life account of what just happened on the airwaves. The usual love story of Boy meets Girl, then Boy falls in love with Girl. The thing is, this Boy had to leave for the States. The couple promises to keep in touch --- emails, phonecalls, everything. Finally, Boy comes back to Manila to propose to the Girl of his dreams.
Such an innocent guy… I really feel sorry for him. He convinces this disc jockey so he could propose on the air to call up the Girl. So the DJ does so, telling her that he got her number from a fishbowl for a promo. The DJ was “supposed” to give her two free passes. To whom would she give the other pass (since the Girl did not know that the Boy was here in the Philippines)? Here goes the conversation (I’ve changed the names just in case):
Girl: Umm... Secret! I have somebody in mind, but I don't think I should say it on air. (Giggles)
DJ: Why not?
Girl: Umm... It's so out there... Should I even...?
DJ: Sure!... What have you got to lose?
Girl: I have two people in mind, but one is not here anyway. So I guess I'll give it na lang to my husband.
DJ: To... To... To your husband? (Surprised)
Girl: Yeah. Why?
DJ: Your husband.
Girl: I won't say his name na lang.
DJ: You won't say his name... Your husband... I don't know how to put this, but if you listened... I sort of alluded that there's somebody with me that's-
Girl: Somebody gave you my number, or did you find my name in a fishbowl?
DJ: Actually, (Boy’s name goes here) submitted it to us. I've had him--
Girl: (Shocked)
Out of the frying pan and into the fire. What followed was an exchange between an obviously hurt, angry and humiliated Boy and the surprised, stammering and nervous laughter of Girl.
Boy: Your husband?
Girl: Hello?
Boy: What are you talking about? Your husband?
Girl: Umm... Umm... (Boy’s name again) from the Internet, right?
Boy: Are you listening to me?... What do you mean your husband? I'm your boyfriend! I'm right here in the Philippines to ask you to marry me!
Girl: Oh my... Oh my God!
Boy: You just made a fool... I just made a fool of myself! I'm like... Your husband?... What do you mean your husband?... What...?... (Girl’s name)?
Girl: Umm... Umm... I think I have to go now... Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye!
Poor guy… It’s women like that married girlfriend of his that give women a bad name. Worst of all, it’s incidents like these that make thoughtful and romantic guys like him an endangered species. And I thought my love life was bizarre and incomprehensible. I hope that guy will realize that there are other (better) girls out there. hint! hint!
Anyway, if you want to read the full article, here’s the link:
Copy and paste it on your URL. I'm still trying to master the wonders of HTML so bear with me. i tried linking it but failed miserably. I'm a work in progress though! =)
1:01 PM
I need coffee. MUST have coffee! I've been at this paper for two days and I'm still in page three. I think the service provider should cut my subscription. I've been addicted to people's blogs that time simply slips by like a silent serpent... lurking... waiting to strike until its too late for me to escape.
Don't you just hate it when a guy says, "I'll call you tonight." and then he never calls? Damn! Good thing I have a paper to do... or else I'll just be watching TV and waiting for my cellphone to ring. Definitely pathetic...
10:43 AM
Political Economy and I: A VERY STRANGE love affair
The incident that happened between me and my professor has become an instant urban legend. It is now one of the horror stories in my course. I thought my classmates didn’t know about it. Apparently, no one is spared from this tidbit of juicy information. I learned this from one of the people I’m not so close with. So what exactly happened? I took this class with the J-man (the institute director/thesis adviser) himself. The sem is supposed to end in a couple of weeks and guess what? My topic for a thesis proposal has not yet been approved. He gave me an incomplete grade for the subject, which is good because that means I have not failed the subject completely and I still have time to complete the main requirement. And then, of course, I just had to ask this: Sir, if I complete the proposal before May 12, will you give my grade to the registrar by then so I could graduate this May 31?
And then he said: Oh, that’s if I feel like checking it before May 12.
Aaaarrrggghhh!!! Talk about sadist! What happened to him when he was in college? Oh yeah… he took up Tourism… Okay, I am really mean… Bad Alba! Mwahahaha!
The funny part of all this is that if I can still qualify, I’ll take the MA and then deal with him in the actual thesis.
Saturday, March 22, 2003 8:31 PM
by the way guys, i'd just like to thank Bundi and Laila for a great job they did in sprucing this site up! i owe you guys lunch!
7:12 PM
Here's something to think about:
In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.
When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six
months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal
with that, too.
When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of
walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly
cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who
bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could
deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that
you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup...gonna be a bear.
7:06 PM
FUTSAL and its Discontents
Today is the first day of the rest of my life… and it started in PE class --- futsal. What is futsal? It’s this distorted soccer game. Actually, I still don’t understand why it exists, after all, soccer already exists, why do you need another game that means kicking the ball and getting hit (if you don’t watch out)? Okay, okay, I am being mean. I like the game. It’s fun. But the thing is, it frustrates me that I can’t play it. I already know the basic stuff and God knows how much I want to learn how to really play it, but try enrolling yourself in a PE class where you are one-half of the two women who enrolled; then you’ll see what I mean. And today, well, I was the only female in class! Guess why? The other girl was absent, she had a presentation in IMC.
Anyway, I just walked around the court while the guys worked up a sweat. Yup, testosterone. The hormone that I lacked to get down and dirty with these people. You’d think why can’t a girl like me play futsal? Oh, honey, if I could? I would. But they NEVER pass me the freakin’ ball! Finally the goalie (one of my friends) passed the ball to me and I was too shocked to even move. So the other team ended up scoring a goal. My teammates were kinda pissed. They were more competitive than the rest. Well, maybe the fact that they are members of the varsity futsal team should mean something, letting a bunch of PE students score is simply unforgivable. So what was I doing playing with the men’s varsity team? It was a brilliant idea of the futsal coach / PE instructor (who happens to be really cute, one of the reasons that I never dropped the subject).
I got hit by the ball today. This guy (the same guy who shoved me during the second meeting) kicked the damned thing and it soared straight to my side… Ouch! The thing is, you should never run away from the ball, if you want to do something good for your team… but the ball flew again way high and was in the right trajectory of hitting my pale forehead and I completely walked away… I’m losing points with the cute varsity players… this is bad. Well, it’s better than trying to spike the ball. I got a handball foul three weeks ago due to my volleyball instincts I’ve had since high school when I played varsity.
By the way, this is not the only embarrassing thing that happened today. Bundi!!!
Friday, March 21, 2003 10:20 PM
there are many things that have occured, signs, if you will, that have reminded me of a certain someone who has not completely left my life yet. Tiny coincidences that have reminded me of moments (all special) we shared together. It's pretty ironic. I am not reminded so much on the "supposedly" special moments but more of the humrous conversations and the insightful questions and theories we had about life. It is extremely unusual for me to think this way or maybe it is about time that I see things differently. Perhaps...
As for signs, I admit i believe them... when they happen to me. I am skeptical when they happen to other people. Selective belief? Much like my friend's selective hearing...
So, my thesis is completely flawed and irrational. Since my belief in signs only kicks in when it concerns me and me alone, then it means that signs are not necessarily true --- okay, this is rather harsh. My belief in signs just mean the following:
1. my belief in signs should not mean anything to anybody else.
2. signs are completely relative --- only to me.
3. i am such a special person that signs only happen to me.
4. "signs" occuring to other people are not signs per se --- they are just mere coincidences.
i have this other friend who broke up with her boyfriend, who swore to me yesterday that she was seeing signs everywhere for the past week that they have broken up. Signs of what? i never asked her that question. or else, i couldn't have written this. I just let her talk. I know what mourning for a dead relationship is like. She needed to grieve. I needed to hear someone grieve to forget about my own problems... Utilitarian? Nah... it just sounds like it. But when she started talking about bees (no, not that kind of bee story) when a black bug whizzed by me in the CAS Garden of UAP, i had to bring her back to reality. I know I shouldn't make fun of others, so I'll just make fun of me. Yes, I admit it, at some point in my life, i actually thought that being crazy about cashew nuts was a sign that he and i are meant to be. I won't elaborate on that anymore.
Going back to my other friend with the selective hearing (among his many attributes). Well, he did say that one should not read so much on things (especially if the text message came from a guy!). Women over analyze! It's a curse (and a great skill). It's true, maybe we shouldn't. Maybe we should take things just for what they are. However, we have to remember that women have good intuition! Fr de Torre actually says that's why women are more angelic (check out Thomas Acquinas' readings on this one).
Or myabe because of emotional stress, we just notice the things that have been there all along just now... and then mistake them for "signs". Now this is frustrating and I'd hate it to be true (guess why). But what if?? I sound hopeless, i don't do this on purpose but maybe it's a lesson we should keep in mind. We should not over analyze. And if signs are for real, i think we'll know for sure when they just happen to be coincidences. The safest way of not getting hurt with all of this is not to trust them completely.
