TAO OF ALBA

Wednesday, March 31, 2004 6:11 PM  
I want my star world

I have finished my last final exams in the university. It really feels good to say that out loud. I pulled an all-nighter last night reviewing my notes and hoped that it will be the last time I'm going to see them. The longest mantra I've ever had in my head was: "don't sleep... not now... this is really the last exam you're ever going to take in the institute. No more pol eco, no more Avila, no more all-nighters. You will be free! Graduation is two months away, you just can't sleep tonight. You can have all the sleep you want after the exam."

And now, after a 'change of grade' form on Friday and a submission of my last term paper in my pol eco life, I might just march up to the stage in PICC and get the diploma I should have gotten a year ago.

My pol eco girl-friends and I celebrated the last of our suffering at a free lunch in one of my favorite nearby restaurants in Pearl Dr. When I got home to finally have my long-earned slumber, however, my dad broke the news that the cable comppany in my soon-to-be place of residence is Destiny. Given my cranky mood because I've been up for more than twenty-four hours, I frantically SMSed the cable company to ask if they have Star World --- my only reason for living my life. And true enough, the agent confirmed my worst fears: "No. Sorry, our management doesn't have that channel. We're still making efforts to get the network back."

I wanted to kill her. I wanted to call her up and scream at her ear and make her permanently deaf. I was that devastated. The idea of not being able to continue my religious pilgrimage of watching Enterprise on Sundays at ten made me sick. I have not missed a single episode ever since the series started.

Cable TV has no meaning without Star.

No Star, no Enterprise, no Monk, no (okay you can shoot me for this) Bold and the Beautiful!!! No more PanAsia, Focus Asia, American Idol!

And then I had the brilliant idea of changing my subscription... and then I later found out that no other cable company can enter my building because of some contract. I say this is unfair, a total disregard for my consumer rights, and I am taking it to the Dept of Trade and Industry.

Seriously. I’m filing a complaint right this minute. Something has to be done about this. With all the opening of markets and the globalization of telecommunications, monopoly-like arrangements like this are a sign of this country’s primitive ways of doing business. And it just irks me so baaaadd!!!

Grrrr.




* * *

Monday, March 29, 2004 10:02 PM  
what's in a name?

The barista in Starbucks Pearl just picked this day to guess my name right, two days before I move out of Ortigas. Sure, never mind the five years of my life that I practically ordered a caramel macchiato at an average of two or three a week. (This ratio is an average, it doesn't necessarily mean that I drop by the coffee place twice or thrice a week, there are months where I dropped in almost everyday and then disappear for a while). Okay, so the time where they just punched in my order without waiting for me to say it might tell me that I've been drinking too much coffee, but today... today will go down in history as the day where my name is somehow lodged in that cute barista's head that I've been noticing for months! And just to clarify, when I say cute, I meant his face not his head.

So does this mean I should flirt chat with him? Should I ask for his name too? Shouldn't this be a propelling moment of our acquaintanceship? Does this mean that when I order my next cup I'd just tell him, "hi. I'll have the usual. thanks."?

Oh no... he just happened to pick the day where I look absolutely geeky. Fingerprint-covered eyeglasses with its silver finish peeling for two years of wear and tear, wet tangled hair since I just got out of the shower, readings in my arms for the exam that was supposed to happen in forty-five minutes, a pen stuck in my ear (okay that's an exaggeration)... yeeesh! And now he knows my name?! Ugh!




* * *

Saturday, March 27, 2004 7:10 PM  
i've got the blues

I'm moving into my new home on Tuesday. Been busy packing up, finishing papers, and preparing for exams that it's no wonder that my throat is starting to get raw again because of less sleep and more stress. Dad always said that ever since I was a kid, it's been my so-called "Achilles' heel". But me thinks that since I'm fighting back unsolicited emotions, there's a huge lump stuck in my throat that will probably disappear when I get used to the idea of living alone, without the view of Ortigas outside my balcony, and far from friends.

I'm scared, I really am... but I'm more excited about exploring the unknown. I'm going to miss a lot of things. The first month will probably be torture. But who knows? Maybe life will be better there.




* * *

Monday, March 22, 2004 12:41 AM  
hey jo!

What school do you go to and does it have a course on production design?




* * *

Sunday, March 21, 2004 12:52 AM  
finally my worries are laid to rest!

The perk of having a provincial driver's license is the colorful excuse you can come up with when you get caught by a traffic cop. Oh hi officer, sorry I didn't know that it says no swerving there. I'm from the province and I'm leaving tomorrow, so I might not make it to the seminar... yadayada. Or something like that.

The disadvantage is having to wait months for the plastic card, and during the whole time your vanity elevates into anxiety and then paranoia as you wonder how in the world did you look like when they took your picture for the damn thing.

Well, I'm happy to announce that aside from the droopy eyes since I didn't get to sleep much that day, I still look human!!!

And just so you'd know since I have a record of getting into trouble on the second day of a claimed license, I'm grounding myself until Tuesday.




* * *

Thursday, March 18, 2004 11:20 PM  
me really really stupid

There's really no debate on how much I value my freedom and how much Bembol comes in the freedom equation. But when we're talking about directions and my sense of direction... those are two different things that I am not, unfortunately, endowed with.

Like for instance, the incident in Katipunan today. Traffic was hell like always ever since that flyover construction began. And I decided to take the usual detour to Boni Serrano to EDSA. Well... what can I say? When I make turns, I make a lot of them and I ended up in P. Tuazon... three blocks later I was back in Katipunan.

The theater org that I was President of last year had its year-end production. I was so engrossed in my painting class that I forgot all about it until I checked my phone 4 hours later.

I totally forgot my mom's birthday until my roommate told me that my sister called to remind me about it.

*starts pulling hair in untimely fear of death* Gaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!




* * *

Monday, March 15, 2004 11:53 PM  
So when art teachers ask their students out for a date, do you think I should panic? I am not particularly thrilled with the idea for a number of reasons.

I'm such a coward. This guy I used to really like who's now on vacation from the Philippine Military Academy wanted to meet up before he goes home to Surigao... trouble is, I don't want to see him. I feel terrible for making an excuse up.

One of the things I feel happy today is the fact that I think I wrote a very good paper on Global Finance and its impact on national economic sovereignty. (Sorry for the pol eco jargon coming up). I haven't felt this good about a paper in a long time. And to think I only wrote it in four hours... I actually think that the J-man might like this one. Target is to get a B at least. He never gives any one As so a B is a good reason to have a heart attack in insupressible joy. This time around, I placed graphs and charts along with academic writing spiced up with an upbeat tone, making sure to not bore the reader with unnecessary terms. My working title is "National Economic Sovereignty For Sale?" and it discussed how external debt can cause developing countries to sacrifice control over its own national economic affairs. I ended with a case study on Structural Adjustment Programs (SAPs) that was forwarded by the World Bank and the IMF to developing countries during the World Debt Crisis and the Asian Financial Crisis. Not bad. Hurray me for getting a paper right.

I've just recently gotten over my addiction on peanut butter and strawberry sandwiches. And I've been making it up by watching Enterprise every Sunday at ten pm. FYI, this series is set in 2051; thereby explaining the very low tech weaponry and enterprise system capabilities compared to the first generation and every series that followed. I'm hooked like anything.




* * *

Saturday, March 13, 2004 1:46 PM  
Happy Birthday Soliloquy



You thought I forgot, noh?? Hehehehe! Thanks for everything, my friend! For the fighting matches (especially about my thesis), the bumming, the Bembol adventures, the laughs, the tears... everything! Not to be corny or anything but, my God, where the hell would I be without someone like you to count on? Love ya, hun.





* * *

12:48 AM  
wanna start a petition?

Can't we do something about that really dangerous parking lot of the new Eastwood cinemas?




* * *

Friday, March 12, 2004 1:44 PM  
the party that almost never was

Went to my friend's birthday celebration yesterday and ended up coming home at 4 AM. The guards in my building must think I'm such a party animal. The thought just amuses me especially since... well let's put it this way... did I go to a birthday party, or did I?

To digress, after getting some exercise by washing Bembol from his three-week long grittiness, I had to rush over to Makati to pick up Mark. You see Mark and I are very compatible, we like the same things and trust each other with do-or-die secrets (we've known each other since kindergarten). In fact, we are so much alike, it's really no wonder that we have the same taste in... men! When we had to stop for gas, we were both ogling at the guy in the car in front of us. However, there's only one difference between Mark and me (and really sometimes I think it's just not fair); he's got a boyfriend.

Anyhoo, we rushed to Visayas Ave as fast as rushing-in-rush-hour-traffic could take us. We met up with old high school friends, some I've seen at least once a month when we got into college, the others I haven't seen in years... especially the guy who brought the second car for the convoy that's going to happen later.

Aha! So there's a guy involved! Raymund and I have known each other since we were five. We lived in same subdivision in the province and he would always pick on me and I'd push him off his bicycle whenever he did. Yeah, yeah, sure, sounds like one of those teenage romance novels. Hardly. In fact, far from it. But to be fair, he looks really cute now... and he still picks on me.

The birthday celebrant was supposed to go to work at 2AM, the second half of her graveyard shift. Everybody was convincing her to take the night off so we could all drive to Malate or Antipolo or whereever for a drinking spree (it has been a long time since all of us last hung out and for once, I could finally tell them that I'm not married nor was I ever remotely married and that I don't have kids). But I was getting sleepy at 1AM... and getting impatient with the rest as they try to insist that Trinie not go to work. Well, sorry but this party-pooper thinks that no one should force anyone to brush off a contractual agreement that lightly. So in the end we all decided to drop off Trinie at her office building. Actually the people in the other car just came along to make sure that I wouldn't play hooky (!) and go home.

I led the convoy, running at 60 kph along EDSA, slow enough so that we wouldn't lose each other and fast enough to not get into trouble. I was pretty confident to see a pair of headlights behind me the whole time but I wondered why that pair suddenly moved and overtook me. It was then that I realized that duh! the second car wasn't really anywhere in sight. All three of us inside Bembol were starting to freak out. Course we can't really go back coz Trinie had to be at the office in fifteen minutes, so we decided to call them up. Of the five people in the car, there was only one cell phone functioning and we found out that they got into an accident.

Okay, time to panic... and feel guilty? Was I going too fast for them to hit another car or what??? After dropping the celebrant off, Mark and I went back to the Kamuning area for the Ray and the rest.

How ironic it is that I spent the rest of the night at an MMDA office. It wasn't the party I had in mind. Plus I had to drive to Timog with the guys to get food for Kathy, this eventful night's star witness.

When everything was settled, the people who wouldn't let me go home, finally agreed to call it a night.

At least, that's what they told me they were going to do. I, on the other hand, was blissful to find myself under the bed covers before the sun got a chance to rise.




* * *

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 10:59 PM  
Never in my wildest dreams that a day so perfect like today would come.

For one, it's the opening of my very first exhibit. Of course, there would be other artists there as well but the feeling of your work being viewed by the public is so indescribable. Another thing, one of the artists who also displayed their paintings was Remy Boquiren, a fellow Surigaonon. The awesome thing about is that I grew up with two of her paintings in my house. Ever since childhood I knew who she was. She has a very unique style, she only paints images of Filipino women. Here's a sample of her art:



Anyway, so back to my story about one of the best days of my life. Two of my acrylic paintings are on display along with Remy Boquiren's paintings. Like I said, never in my wildest dreams has this possibility ever presented itself... and it's not just her, Fernando B. Sena and Rafael Pacheco were also there.

But the most wonderful thing was the unexpected support I got from my friends. William, Lai, Juls, and Soliloquy were there when I thought they wouldn't show. Actually, I was standing at a corner alone during the start of the programme. I expected my aunts to show but they didn't. My parents weren't there since they were in the province, so I was very much thankful to see four familiar faces (even though, the hit of the exhibit was the free food). GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE PEOPLE RIGHT NOW!!!

Here's the SIKAT group picture. I'm the fourth from the left standing.





And here's (from left) William, Julette, and me standing beside my lotus series. Each painting is priced Php12,000, but it's negotiable. :-)





We ended the night with a trip to Chowking for halo-halo and black gulaman. I missed chorale rehearsals for this and I know that the choirmaster will give me a hard time on Friday about it. I don't really care.

I love this day!!!





* * *

Tuesday, March 09, 2004 6:16 PM  
goodbye ron

I never knew you personally, but once or twice I stumbled into your innermost thoughts.




* * *

6:12 PM  
Got this from Jill, who got it from J, who got it from yadayadayada.

Instructions:
A. Copy this whole list.
B. Highlight the things that are true about you.
C. Whatever you don't touch is false.

01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions --- I just forgot what they were...
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love psychodelic mushrooms
04. I love sleeping
05. I have loads of books
06. I once slept in a bathroom

07. I love playing video games
08. I adore marijuana
09. I watch porn movies
10. I watch them with my father
11. I like sharks
12. I love spiders
13. I was born without hair
and I still have no hair. I have lots of hair on my head! LOTS!
14. I like George Bush
15. I am cool
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a jacuzzi and a Porsche
18. I have a lot to learn
19. I carry my knife everywhere
20. I can be really really smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret

23. I hate snow
25. Punk rock rules
26. I hate Bill Gates!
27. I love Chinese food
28. I would hate to be famous
29. I am so not a morning person... well I'm not productive in the morning but I can still take waking up at a decent hour. I know someone who, I swear, will burn at the faintest ray of sunlight.
30. I wear glasses
31. I don't need glasses, except sunglasses
32. I have potential
33. I'm pure Japanese
34. My legs are two different sizes
35. I have a twin
36. I wear a padded bra sometimes
37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing
38. I'm left-handed
39. I hate llamas, but I'm one of them
40. I don't like horror movies
41. I suck at climbing, but I love it anyway
42. People hate me usually
43. I love pop music
44. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight
45. I hate parking fines
46. I know the national anthem of my country by heart
47. I know more than two languages
48. I can spend too much time on the computer

49. I often want to throw out the computer in a window
50. I live on a ground floor
51. I don't like chocolate
52. I'd like to be more original
53. I've lied

54. Cocks are my favorite birds
55. I want to conquer the world
56. I wonder what happens when I die
57. I've read all books about Harry Potter

58. I love my dog!
59. I love to exercise - which reminds me...
60. I hate chemistry with a passion and math, too!
61. I love to write but I wish I could be as interesting as some people
62. I like changes
63. I hate going to class
64. I am afraid to die

65. I hate dish washing with a passion!
66. My hair is long, brown, and incredibly curly
67. My nails are nine inch long
68. My favorite color is black
69. I like to sleep on the floor
70. I am hopeless at cooking
71. I sucked my thumb when I was little
72. I should be doing something else rather than doing this
73. I am online a lot
74. I hate government
75. I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend
76. I'm too nice for my own good
77. I love to read, I read as much as I can
78. I don't trust newspapers
79. I like debating

80. I live in a wagon
81. I clean my room once a month
82. I'm scared of american fast food... I confess I love McDonalds and KFC.
83. I have a third eye
84. I love Mozambique
85. I don't trust any religion
86. I used to play with barbies only because all the other girls were doing it
87. I wanted to be a super hero when I was little
88. I like listening to wind chimes
89. I'm very disorganized
90. My hair is long and straight
91. I earn a lot. yeah right... I wish!
92. I don't like spicy food. that is so not true!!!
93. I keep a diary
94. I can't do cartwheels
95. I can be very lazy

96. I'm sarcastic more often than not
97. I think my hair can be annoying
98. I could be sensitive
99. I love being "ab-normal"






* * *

Saturday, March 06, 2004 4:31 PM  
going back

I don't feel guilty that I turned in my Notes of Experience (NOE) for Kultura. It is actually the first time I turned in an NOE. An NOE is a document enumerating what the author learned from a project (be it a play or whatever), it also includes suggestions that may be helpful for future projects.

Now that I've added an in-case-you-didn't-know-what-I-was-talking-about clause, shall we proceed with the excerpts of what I have written?

Overall, if I would rate my own performance in this production from 1-10 (10 being the highest), I would give myself a 4. I confess that after every show, I would hide myself in the back to evade friends and acquaintances that would approach and congratulate me for being the head of this project. I?d cringe once a stray audience member would find me wherever I was lurking...

...when I called for a meeting with all the three heads to coordinate responsibilities for the next shows, I was insulted with the fact that all three were late by almost one hour, which in reality was only the intended duration of the meeting itself...

Of course, there are a few anecdotes and lessons that can be shared from this experience. I shall never forget this production for all eternity since it was here that I got my first traffic violation ticket.

Oh and yes, the clincher that should spell out everything:

The whole production would have moved fine without my help. Personally, there was no given time during the production where I felt that I have genuinely contributed anything nor did I feel important, not even as a crew member.

But, then it's all part of the job, really. I did what I can.

I saw the NOE as an opportunity to explain my side of the story although it seemed more of a chance to sourgrape. But if the latter were true, I could've written more than what I did but I didn't.




* * *

Friday, March 05, 2004 10:03 PM  
the game is afoot

SIKAT, the group of artists to which I think I now officially belong to, is having an exhibit on March 10-23, 2004 at the ART CENTER in Megamall. It's my first exhibit ever... and I'm nervous just thinking about it. Hope to see you guys there?





* * *

Tuesday, March 02, 2004 10:22 PM  
Hmmm... Keng was right... when you've been absent from blogging for a long time, you'd lose... momentum? Interest? What's the word?

Anyway, some updates from me. Been sad lately. Got my first traffic violation ticket last Friday. For the first time, I couldn't talk myself out from something. I went to the MMDA office to pay for the fine this afternoon. How did I get the ticket? Long story. Gets me pissed every time I think about it. Had something to do with the play. I'll blog about it some other time.

But the ticket thing isn't the only thing that's gotten me sad. I don't know, guys, life's not such a ball these days.




* * *

"There are things out there that I want to discover, that one day this will all make sense... I am searching for the meaning of this cosmic existence that we're in. And probably when I find the answer, I'll go and look for the anti-thesis."
5 THINGS

1. I sing in the University Chorale of the University of Asia & the Pacific, and we swept four gold medals in Greece for our very first International Competition. I got to do my two absolute favorite things: singing and traveling.
2. Although I am an Alto Two, my range widens up to Soprano One when I am drunk. Think Charlotte Church's Flower Duet. (I think it has something to do with swallowing the diaper pin when I was a baby). Dancing barefoot in debut parties may also be expected.
3. I work in an non-government organization focused on private sector development. It involves sleepless nights in the office and the constant worry of displeasing a former Secretary of Finance. My other two bosses are harmless.
4. I like my men in uniform. The Military has always been a fascination of mine even before when I was finishing a BA degree in Political Economy.
5. I no longer watch The Bold and the Beautiful much to the joy of friends and family.
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