Thursday, May 29, 2003 12:37 PM
The so-called Brush with Death
Coincidentally, my niece brought her digicam. We were on the way to Greenbelt Chapel to hear mass early in the morning (all this happened last Sunday). At 7am, we were in Sheridan cor. United sts. The taxi we were in was cruising, and I enjoyed the fast ride. How ironic. We already crossed the intersection when all this happened.
My dad, my neice, and I were in this taxi. This is the side where I was sitting. The damage on the other side was worse.
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The jeepney that rammed into us. It was speeding and the driver could've stopped since we already crossed the intersection in the first place. But he didn't.
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The red taxi that saved my life. Had it not been there, my side of the taxi could have rammed into that wall in the background and I wouldn't be blogging today.
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On the funny side, when we got to the chapel, there was this woman who wouldn't move when we sat down at the pew, as if she didn't see us. So my niece and I were asking, "are we dead?"
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One thing haunts me though: it is so easy to die.
Wednesday, May 28, 2003 10:40 PM
For the past three days, I have (1) had a brush with death, (2) been video-taped by GMA 7 and interviewed by Inquirer, (3) developed numerous blisters in my toes for wearing heels and running around Makati Shang in them (I cannot emphasize this enough), (4) been congratulated by my three bosses for a job well done, and get this, (5) been asked out by a Malaysian with two MA’s from Yale.
Life couldn’t be more exciting.
Saturday, May 24, 2003 8:24 PM
if ever
Geez! Sometimes I hate it when I’m too damned calm despite every lousy thing that happens to me. I slaved over a report for class. I only managed to get a few hours’ sleep to finish everything. I slept at 4, woke up at 9. I had to sleep in my niece’s room because my back couldn’t take sleeping on the spare bed for another night (my dad had to evict me from my comfy queen-sized mattress). But then, I kept waking up every fifteen minutes or so from 7 onwards because my lovely niece had a very persistent snooze alarm. And the whole time I was forcing myself to ignore it, I thought someone was calling her early in the morning and I desperately wanted to kill him or her just to shut the phone up.
But it was no big.
When my group and I reported in class, I was forced to finish just half of what I slaved over the night in what seemed like five minutes. I cannot believe I talked about WTO and Third World Countries in just five minutes. I could have reported more on the The Mystery of Capital by Hernando de Soto, one of my favorite economists. Sayang.
But that’s life.
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I am still thinking about shifting to Dev Ed. But then, why not shift to Literature instead? I love reading and analyzing literary pieces… in fact, I want to write my own stuff some day.
Decisions… decisions…
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Tomorrow, I'm having cocktails with people from World Bank (WB) and Institutes of Directors of East Asia Network (IDEA Net) in Makati Shang. I guess this is one of the perks of working for an NGO funded by the WB! The next three days will be work, work, work! But fun, fun, fun work! The major gathering will be on Tuesday which includes two video-conferences by the WB President himself! Cool! GMA Network will be setting it all up. Each video-conference will be twenty minutes long and can you believe that ISA (the NGO where I'm doing my internship) is paying $50 per second? You do the math. I'm afraid to. I might be shocked out of my wits thinking that it's all the world's money spent on some conference while the rest of the Third World is plunged in poverty.
Friday, May 23, 2003 11:53 PM
the sadism of coincidences
Well, it's not really sadism, more like the mockery of so-called signs. A few nights ago while I was convincing myself to go to sleep, the thought of taking up Development Education popped in my brain out of nowhere. When we were choosing our specializations in college, Dev Ed was my second choice. When I got accepted to the program along with pol eco, I was in a major dilemma. Although I wanted pol eco ever since I applied to UA&P, the thought of going to Dev Ed appealed to me. And at some point, I almost chose it over pol eco. What stopped me from pursuing a career in Dev Ed? Well, if I went there, I would have been a much more relaxed (and happier) person. My two close friends who went to Dev Ed look very much pleased with what they have done for the past two years. But every time they would see me nowadays they would always say, "ey, you ok? you look stressed. Did you get any sleep recently?"
I got so sick of hearing that over and over the allure of screaming "of course not! Do I look like I slept last night?" or worse, "No, would you have a good night's if you were trying to make sense of the world's problems?" were almost seriously considered. Andro (one of my best friends) asked me one time, "why do you look so harassed?" He just laughed when I said I spent the night calculating the average of Philippine External Debt for the past two decades. "No wonder. With the mess that the country's in. I'm surprised you didn't go bonkers." (did he just say "bonkers"??)
Anyway, while that thought of going to Dev Ed suddenly revived suppressed feelings of dedicating my body and soul to one noble profession, I finally decided to pray on it. For a person who does not believe in signs (read very first entry of this blog) the attempt was something. I prayed that if I was really meant to go to Dev Ed, I would just like to ask for one, big, very obvious sign that I belonged there. And then last night happened. My dad, the least person who would ask me to shift because of all the past lectures of "finishing what has already been started" and "not giving up", asked me to shift.
My question now is, was that the sign I have been waiting for?
If the whole thing was supposed to make things clearer, I'm sorry dear God, but I am more confused. My fault, really. I should have asked you to make the sign more obvious, or maybe more drastic. A friend said that was definitely a sign. But then shifting when I am almost done? No way!
And besides, the argument of not taking it in the first place still stands: if I proceed to Dev Ed, I would have the skills and be a better professor than the J-man or any faculty member in the Institute, but I wouldn't know what to teach. At least if I graduated with pol eco and then proceed to the academe, I'd have something to teach about.
Oh well.
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What is it with women drivers? Yesterday I went to Makati Shangri-La and when one of my bosses and I were walking in the basement parking lot, we saw a sign on the wall that says: "RESERVED for FEMALE drivers". Has the world become phobic with the idea that women drive? Enlighten me please. And don't tell me crap about women being lousy drivers because the way I see it, men can be equally lousy.
Thursday, May 22, 2003 11:04 PM
Decisions… decisions…
Dad: “This guy is getting to you. Let’s get him!”
Me: “Hahaha! I never thought you’d say that!”
Dad: “My God, sweetheart, you don’t know what I’m willing to do for you!”
(evil) Me: uh, yeah? Can you give me enough money for a trip around the world? hehehe!
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I never thought I’d hear my dad ask me to shift courses. He arrived today from Surigao late in the afternoon and we went out for some father-daughter bonding (yes, I am daddy’s little girl) as soon as I got home from work. We discussed my situation with the J-man and we decided to go after him. This means that for the next few days I am going to (try to) contact every single pol eco student and graduate out there. And for the sake of secrecy, I shall not elaborate on this feat just yet. In time I shall disclose all the details of this quest for righteousness.
But then, in the meantime, my father asked me to graduate from another course. If ever I am to attempt to nail this guy on the cross, I have to work around him. I have to take up another specialization where his arbitrary self will not prove to be such a hindrance to my future.
However, with only two (or three??) subjects left, should I shift? I vowed not to. I’ve always been determined to finish the stuff I started. It doesn’t matter if I come out of it wounded or half-dead already. Quitting is never an option.
Yet today, the world seems like a different place.
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And speaking of shifting… I am enraged at a certain ex-pol eco student. How dare she tell people that I was the one who revealed her so-called secret affairs in the world of plagiarism?! Excuse me! I admit it, I did not approve of what stupid, idiotic thing she did with that paper of hers but I would never BE a tattletale! So now she’s looking for people to blame for the demise of her plagiarizing career? Someone to take the fall for her life of crime? Read my lips: To hell with you! Whatever happened between you and Mr. Trillana, I don’t really freaking care. But I will never forget the heartache that you provoked on one of my best friends. Her tears were worth more than pearls and they needed not to fall on your behalf.
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Me thinks I have a lot to think about in the next few days.
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Oh yeah, you might want to read about this girl's adventure in the MRT. Donita_ces, mabuhay ka!
Wednesday, May 21, 2003 8:05 PM
The Unconscious Mind
I never really saw myself as one who would hide her emotions. Everybody can easily tell how I am feeling. My face usually gives a strong impression of what goes through my mind. And yet, I don't understand why my unconscious mind is said to be driven by self-protection. This is how emode assessed my unconscious mind through a series of ink blot tests:
Whether you know it or not, your unconscious mind is defending your internal emotional experiences. It acts like an emotional dam that helps you keep things in check. One reason for this could be that you have a deeply-rooted fear of being flooded by emotions. In response, your unconscious acts in the opposite manner, by protecting you from unpredictable, emotional tidal waves.
While this tendency might be useful in some circumstances, it may also at times make your emotions hard to articulate or grasp. And that can lead to some frustration.
Since you tend to appear level-headed to others, they feel they can count on you for sound opinions and advice. Another benefit of your unconscious drive is that it allows you to remain calm in the toughest of situations. This can be a real benefit for you during business negotiations or personal arguments because you're not apt to say damaging things that you'll have to apologize for later.
The only hazard with this drive towards self-protection, is you might filter out good emotions as well as the bad. That can leave you feeling like something is missing, something you can't quite place.
But ultimately, your unconscious is wise and will know if there is a time in the future where it would be beneficial to be different.
Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Self-protection, there is much more to who you are at your core.
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Somehow, it all makes sense... when everybody panics, I'm the calmest person in the room. And based on experience, whenever there is bad news, it takes hours before it sinks in. I am indifferent in extraordinary circumstances. I am unusually hyper in the most ordinary situations. Maybe I am weird. But hey, at least I try to keep everybody calm when all hell breaks loose.
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There are actually two, not one but two, Academy-Award winners in X2 --- Halle Berry and Anna Paquin. I have my doubts on the latter.
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So, do you know what to do in a terrorist attack?
Tuesday, May 20, 2003 10:58 AM
of lawsuits and major pain in the neck
My friend is in serious need of a criminal lawyer. A good one. She was charged with "reckless imprudence" and "damage to property" when she rammed her pick-up truck into three parked cars to avoid a collision. This happened more than a month ago and I only saw the pictures from the accident yesterday. It's very surprising that from such a meek person, she almost became an ex-convict. (Or is she an ex-convict already because she paid bail? forgot to ask my dad about this). To digress, I remember that fateful afternoon in Theories of Dev't class with the J-man two semesters ago (has it been that long already?), the J-man asked her a question, she answered meekly and suddenly the J-man got all hyped up. "Are you planning to be a lawyer, miss Soriano?"
Lou: "Um... yes, sir."
J-man: "Naku! eh di patay ka na pag-ganyan ka sumagot."
That was the first time I got pissed with the J-man. Okay, trash me or the rest of the people in the block but not Lou! She's the nicest person on earth! Probably the only person who will ever forgive and pray for the J-man's soul from our lot. But then, we often tell her to fight back and not to be so passive about everything. If ever she becomes a lawyer, I can't imagine what the judge will think once she starts talking about prayer and forgiveness (no offense, Lou), but that is one of the things I admire about her. I can be a patient person and the sacrificial lamb sometimes (she, of all people, knows this the most) but I can be mean especially these days when my choleric side is finally surfacing (thank God!). I am just sick of being push-over nice sometimes. And I am sick of being patient most of the time. I think I am way past the PMS-ing stage, this is really me now talking and not the hormones.
So back to her lawsuit. Three parked cars, one amazing accident and thank God she's alive (seatbelts will no longer be taken for granted in my safety rules). So imagine cars A, B, and C. Pick-up truck rams into A, B get squashed between A& C, and C gets a dent on his bumper. Owners of cars A & B settled with the insurance money. Owner of car C (1990 Galant) files lawsuit. Lou had to spend a day in a precinct because of that warrant she got. The whole thing was totally uncalled for considering that car B was more totalled than car C. Car B was a wreck! Car C had a dent!
Moreover, her lawyer is a delinquent. He was provided by her insurance company and so you can already tell where his interests lie. After hearing that he left Lou in the middle of a mediation all alone, I swear, I wanted to tear his eyes out. Plus, he asked if the insurance could just pay for half and Lou will take care of the rest. So how much is the guy asking?
The 1990 Galant (car C) owner is a 23-year-old asshole, who obviously wants to milk money out of everybody. First day of court, he says that the cost of the damage was around Php 66,000. When the court decided to settle the matter through a mediator since it was a quasi-judiciary case, he asked for Php 80,000 and now Php 90,000. Ano ba talaga?? Hello! It’s just a freaking Galant! I don’t even think it’s worth that load of money now that we’re in the 21st century.
Furthermore, I wouldn’t be surprised if the mediator assigned by the court is in cahoots with that guy. When Lou asked why the amount went up to 90T, he just said, “malay mo, baka vintage na yung car niya”. Excuse me, but if I were Lou, I would have asked the court for a new mediator on the basis that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Can somebody please enlighten this guy on what “vintage” means? Certainly not a ten-year old car!
So I talked to my dad. My dad said she should have gotten a criminal lawyer since day one. Right now, in my opinion, she should sue for moral damages considering that she has to juggle school and this at the same time! I finally called up my psuedo-uncle (my aunt’s boyfriend) and asked him for further legal advice. He gave me his firm’s address and said he’ll get one of his lawyers to take care of it. I do so hope that Lou will take advantage of this opportunity. It’s time to fight back. And I hope they kick ass!
Sunday, May 18, 2003 4:48 PM
an awesome movie
Oooohhh! I can’t wait for the next Matrix movie. This trilogy will definitely have a place on my shelf along with my Star Wars collection. I’m gonna watch again next week after summer class ends. Great movie to nitpick!
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Visit this lady's blog and be mesmerized by her shots of beautiful Puerto Galera.
Saturday, May 17, 2003 10:12 PM
thoughts over isaw
Today's highlight came in the afternoon after the make-up class with Dra. Dungo. Two of my closest friends and I went to UP for isaw. Who says UAP girls are too snobbish to have isaw? We like the food as much as the next UP student. Even though it was just a simple food trip, it did wonders. First of all, we were hungry. The three of us hadn't eaten lunch and it was already 3:30 in the afternoon. Second of all, we had the urge to go somewhere to just forget about school for even a few minutes. And third, it was suicidal to watch the most awaited Matrix Reloaded on a Saturday afternoon, three days after the world premiere. I learned this the hard way in freshman year with the first Matrix.
Dare I say that the trip was a liberating experience! I couldn't understand what I was feeling the entire day. I went through class like a zombie. I had to close my eyes at some point because my mind wanted to scream. I realized that something was definitely amiss when I went to the restroom and said to myself impulsively that I felt trapped. Where did that come from? I wondered.
And of course, I shared this during the isaw trip. We analyzed the whole situation like it was some pol eco case study and we finally concluded that this is the product of a masochistic senior year and earth-shattering comprehensive exams, spiked with summer class and OJT. In other words, my body and mind are exhausted with all the crap that the university has been giving us and I need more than a weekend in Nasugbu to purge it all out.
Actually, I never thought I'd say this... but, I want to go home.
There! I said it. That wasn't too hard. Yeah, saying it wouldn't be burdensome. It's the actual going-home that's bothering me. I desperately need a vacation and it wouldn't hurt that my hometown is one hell of a tourist spot. But what scares me is the idea that if I go home to the lovely sun and surf, I might not want to come back. Surigao is a refuge! It is the place to be! It is away from UAP, away from pol eco, away from the J-man, away from everything! Besides, all my high school friends are texting me to come home already and I miss them so much. (Sappy me showing).
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Bundi suggested yesterday that maybe I should go to Boracay alone. Okay, definitely will do that at the end of this year, when all the necessary arrangements are in order.
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I am so happy I am NOT a Leo.
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Beans asked me an interesting question today. How do I feel about sharing my thoughts on the internet? Like I said, it makes me feel "socially relevant". Bundi would say its his way of "inflicting" himself to the world. I kinda agree with him. My niece said that it's a scary venture since people will already know what goes through my head. It's not. Letting people read your thoughts doesn't mean you let them own you. And besides, it's therapeutic. The reason why this thing is called the Tao of Alba is because its my chance to speak whatever "wisdom" I have gained amidst all the things I went through. Plus it's nice meeting people in such an unconventional way.
Friday, May 16, 2003 8:48 PM
Where did the day go?
Yeah... where did it go? I hate it when I practically do nothing (or don't want to do anything). My OJT work is practically over and done with. I finished my research on time and now I am just on call in case Stefan or JJ or Gil (my three bosses) want me to handle anything. Actually, Stefan just gives me the good stuff. Good meaning something related to my specialization. JJ and Gil just want me to take down minutes, and help out logistically with conferences. No big really. It's just that I can hear Mr. Umali's voice ringing in my head saying "you're not supposed to do clerical jobs! But hey, whatever makes me happy, right? I'm glad the research is over though. I have been wringing my brain searching for stuff on Corporate Social Responsibility and Corporate Governance that I don't want to hear anything about them for the next few days.
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The funniest thing happened... Lulu called and asked for some advice on her love life. As if I'm the magical guru of relationships! Wish I was, but I'm not. Don't get me started on this one. Two things related:
The 24th of May is coming... it's scaring the hell out of me...
My cousin said that my PMA friend got back with his ex. Good for him! Guess that means I don't have to worry about him calling in the middle of the night in the next few months. Oh happy day!
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Took another test. Coincidentally, the results are the same to the test I took before. Hmmm... I see a pattern here... But I wanted to be a Pheonix, or a Muse, or a Centaur...
You are an angel.
What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox
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So I took the test again (I am bored... sue me) and tried all my second choices. And the result is:
You are a muse.
What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox
I knew it: I was meant to inspire people. hehehe!
Thursday, May 15, 2003 11:12 PM
Clueless
Can I, like, be a any more like a total klutz?? Watched Clueless on Studio 23. I could still hear Alicia Silverstone in my head in her "Cher" accent. I know, I know, it's supposed to be that way. I never really understood the movie the first time I watched it at a friend's house (and that was a loooong time ago). It was, I believe, the first American Teen Movie I watched and tonight being the second time, the flick finally enlightened me on some stuff I hadn't noticed before. I finally got the puns, the language, the jokes, the witty remarks, and did she just say that Ren N' Stimpy were existential??
What-ever!
Anyway, best line in the movie (something I can totally relate to) was:
Cher: He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?
In fairness, the movie was actually intelligent for a high school flick. In fact, my condition, as of now, would definitely be considered clueless. I am totally clueless to what I want. I can see myself ten years from now (which I'm not gonna tell because it might not come true), but somehow it seems like I am looking through a buttered camera lens filter trying to figure out what's gonna happen within the ten years. It's too damned blurry!
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Finally finished all the stuff required in my OJT. Guess that means less research in the next two weeks and more on hands-on work assignments. Ooooh! logistical stuff! Whoopee! I'm having fun just thinking about it already. Even if I am in this course, I admit, I hate researching. Internet research is fine and workable but actual library-hopping-agency-busting research I despise; but I do it anyway. I just pretend that I'm some sort of private investigator working on a difficult criminal case.
The place I'm working for is in tornado mode, the international conference will be happening in two weeks and they need all the help they can get. Guess who's the "help"? I don't mind really. Organizing stuff is what I do best!
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Bundi and I finally cleaned out the SBC. Poor Mr. Ledesma... he got to do the dirty work. (Ms. Jenny, if you're reading this, give Sir Renee a pat on the back for the job well done na lang, ang linis kase ng SBC pagdating namin ni Bundi doon, nagulat kami!).
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My mom and I agreed that I am going to move in Makati on October when second semester starts. Guess my world is about to change. This should mean a lot of things; independence being the root of it all. Well, if I'm moving, I might as well get a part-time job. I would think my mother is starting to cut back on my allowance.
About time.
Wednesday, May 14, 2003 10:32 PM
Life Missions
It is always a joy to go to Dra. Dungo's class on Culture and Development. Today was especially interesting because we happened to discuss environmental issues in the Philippines. The last frontier rainforest is supposedly Subic; but reality is often cruel enough to tell us that this is no longer the case. Out of 25,000 (hectares or acres, forgot which), only 4,000 are protected as indigenous peoples’ territory… it’s not even an environmental refuge. My heart wrenched the whole time we discussed this.
It was guilt.
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I feel guilty because the real reason why I went to political economy is to prepare myself for law school and to figure out how policies are designed and implemented. The main goal of all this is to specialize in environmental law and become one of the country’s very few environmental lawyers who would sue government, companies, people’s organizations alike for the sake of the youth’s future. My intended clients would be my children’s generation who will demand from my generation justice because of the environmental anomalies we committed. I lived (and still live) by the statement that we are only borrowing from the future of our children.
This was an attempt to combine my parents’ and my sister’s professions --- my dad’s legal occupation, my mom’s policy-making line of work, and my sister’s environmental expertise. The professor who interviewed me for political economy was impressed with how noble my purpose was… And now, here I am: on a boat in the middle of the ocean without a paddle.
I feel guilty because as of now, I am taking a lot of detours to stall the whole plan.
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There are a lot of reasons why this dream is stalled. And there are also a lot of unexpected things that have happened just recently that further aggravated the problem. Anyway, I’m still young… I’ll figure it all out… soon, I hope.
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By the way, did you know that the carabao is now endangered???
Tuesday, May 13, 2003 9:16 AM
Eeeek!
Hmmm... remember that "things one can do when one is with a bunch of people one doesn't know" clause? Well, it turns out that they took pictures... pictures that they probably passed around in the Philippine Chamber of Commerce & Industry (PCCI)!! Pictures that were probably seen by donita_ces and my other classmate who are taking their practicum there! Gaaaahhh!
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Anyway, took an interesting test. If ever I do meet an angel who looks like this, I hope he's my guardian angel. *wink* *wink*
Rafael. You're most like the ArchAngel of Healing.
You want people to shape up, and you nag. But
you mean well, and you're well loved despite
it. Or because of it. You bring the donuts
even as you tell people to eat more veggies.
Which ArchAngel are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Ooohh... you should see the "all possible results" page. Yummy! Okay, I still like my Rafael. Gabriel and Micheal look gay. Uriel looks like a dork, and Lucifer looks misunderstood (?).
Monday, May 12, 2003 8:15 PM
Happy Mother's Day to all moms out there!
8:00 PM
I’m Back!
Nasugbu was fun fun fun!!! I played beach volleyball, swam, and sang videoke all night long. I met a lot of really nice people and got a first-hand look at Batangueño life. And I couldn’t help but wish I could stay there forever.
Of course, I still think that Surigao is still a much better place hands down. But at this point in my life, anywhere else is better than Ortigas Center. Anywhere else is better than life in UAP. Okay, so my trip was supposed to be “cathartic” --- “the purgation of all emotional setbacks; the actualization of Qui Gon Jinn’s command to rethink my life. My awaited chance to just walk along the beach and click away with my SLR and not think about anything else”. But then, was I successful?
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The tendency of these kinds of trips is to think… and think long and hard. Is pol eco really for me?
There is only one thing that I realized from the trip: I was meant for better things. Arrogant as that may sound, but I don’t believe in holding on to what doesn’t work anymore. I believe in moving on. I believe that God has bigger plans for me. And besides, don’t we always say that when a door closes, there’s always a window open somewhere. I may not project the ideal student, the ideal daughter, the ideal sister, the ideal friend, but I’m not doing anything wrong (or immoral for that matter) to completely ruin my life. I am a victim of circumstance, but I also admit that I made decisions that further dug my so-called grave. Yet all of this adds up to one thing: I am in the process of becoming the ideal me. This is my life and it is up to me to live it.
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So what happened in the past two days? I’ve been kicking myself in the ass because I don’t have pictures to show. Grrr! I simply forgot to bring batteries for the SLR. I got the film rolls ready, my lens and everything. But of course, stupid me didn’t bother to check the batteries. I couldn’t buy new ones because as luck would have it, my batteries are too complicated to be found in the local drugstore. But not to worry, I got the best SLR / digital video camera to record everything that happened --- my brain. Oh yeah, I have great memories.
I didn’t get burned. Call me a deviant of the Filipino race but I do not darken easily. I played beach volleyball and walked on the beach under the heat and still didn’t get a slight shade. I am a mutant. My super power entails me to reflect the sun’s ultraviolet rays like the ordinary mirror. I, literally, illuminate. Funny thing was when we were walking around at midnight, I became the impromptu light bulb.
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I still got a lot of growing up to do. Somehow, an innate part of my soul tells me that this “growing up” is not found in books, but through a glorious experience of the world outside my seventh floor. It is time for me to start living --- and I can’t wait!
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One more thing: I didn’t get drunk. Instead, I sang like crazy in the neighborhood videoke place. (The things one can do when one is with a bunch of people one doesn’t know). The whole Philippine Chamber of Commerce and Industry paid to have the whole place exclusive. And the rest is history.
When I came back late last night, I slept like a log. Went to class this morning and had to go home during the break since I wasn’t feeling well. Got a slight fever right now.
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Congratulations to Augie and Franco for passing the Ateneo Law Entrance Exam! You guys rock!
Saturday, May 10, 2003 7:56 AM
Nasugbu, here I come!!
Friday, May 09, 2003 9:54 AM
Countdown
Isang tulog na lang! Jollibee na naman... I love you Sabado! Pati na rin Linggo! Remember that commercial? I think I was in grade school when I saw that. Wala pang Jollibee nun sa Surigao. In fact, Jollibee put up a branch in my hometown just last year --- three years after I moved out for college. Can you just imagine the deprivation of one of the many perks of being a kid? Had my parents not sent my sister to Cebu, I wouldn't have a complete childhood. Visiting my sister was the only chance of dining in Jollibee. And now, I'm not so crazy about the fastfood anymore. The place looked like heaven when I was six years old. Now? Well...
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Isang tulog na lang! Then I'll be in Nasugbu! Whooppeee!!! Can't wait! Can't wait! Can't wait! But first I have to:
1. finish the annotated bibliography needed by my boss.
2. finish a paper on state-society relations in the Philippines.
3. go to the office and work my butt off.
4. muster the courage to take a cab to Makati (ever since I got the car, my commuting skills practically dissolved into thin air.)
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Sometimes I think that blogging is making me waste time that I should be spending on research. My only consolation is that at least it keeps me sane. I think I'll seriously explode not telling what I think. Especially now when I am sick and tired of everything. Blogging is therapeutic.
Thursday, May 08, 2003 10:22 PM
Monologue Bickerings
This will be the title of my friend's upcoming blog. The weirdest thing of it all is that she asked me to put it up. Hahahaha! (Bundi, I know you're probably laughing your heart out). I am actually cyber-bobo when it comes to html. I only know enough to update this thing. I had to ask Bundi to put in all the achuchu to make this blog "interactive". But anyway, she still made my day. It's nice to be needed sometimes even if it's just about blogging.
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Fact: Any action made by any being on earth affects the gravity of all heavenly bodies in the universe. Ah! The wonders of physics.
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Another Fact: There are no accidents in the universe, only meaningful incidents.
Does this mean that him calling me the other night serve a deeper purpose than just treating him like crap? Hmmm... deeper purpose meaning really treating him like crap or something lower.
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I can't wait to go to Nasugbu! PCCI moved the trip on Saturday instead of tomorrow so I have more time to finish stuff for work and school, which means no worries on Saturday. My mission is to really get wasted to the point that I will have a nasty hangover in the morning. Anything to forget the last six months of hellish academics and the infernal (non-existent) love life.
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My parents are coming next week. This could only mean two things: World War III and shopping spree.
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Ey, did anybody see the news about that Thai elephant which caused a major traffic jam in Kamuning? I cannot believe I missed it! Check the details here.
Wednesday, May 07, 2003 11:53 PM
Realization
I should have never kidded myself.
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I’m going to Nasugbu on Friday afternoon. Call it a cathartic trip --- the purgation of all emotional setbacks; the actualization of Qui Gon Jinn’s command to rethink my life. My awaited chance to just walk along the beach and click away with my SLR and not think about anything else.
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There’s nothing like the healing power of a large A&W Root Beer float to drown all sorrows away.
Mmmm…
Tuesday, May 06, 2003 10:20 PM
Expect the Unexpected
The unexpected things always happen.
For instance, I always thought I was going to graduate this year. But then the unexpected happened. And then, my mom finally said OK about me having my own place (although I decided to postpone this), which was what I’ve been waiting to hear since I asked her more than a year ago.
And then the most unexpected thing of all happened: he called. He called. After six weeks of zero conversation (except a “happy easter” text), he called.
Yes, it’s the same time-for-me-to-move-on-so-I-should-forget-about-him guy who’s been making my brain cells work over time trying to decipher every move he made aside from the pol eco load I’ve had. (Damn! No wonder, I got so stressed out).
And why the hell did he call? Well, because he misses me. Sure you do.
So I just kept up the civilized crap. I do have the decency not to let my words drip with disdain. And besides, a part of me (which I am determined to kill very soon) was very flattered that he thought of me all of the sudden. Furthermore, he’s my friend (which my friends say he doesn’t deserve to be) and I don’t just abandon my friends. I am not one to replicate his actions. But I am also not so stupid to let him get away with everything.
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A kabarkada, who shocked me by saying this because she’s usually the reserved and quiet one (there’s always more than what meets the eye) told me to just go with the flow. Actually, her exact words were: ”paglaruan mo na lang sya”. Hehehe! Trust me, the thought has occurred in my head, but I just can’t discard more than fourteen years of Catholic School. What the hell am I saying? I’m not going to be a nun anyway so might as well explore the possibilities. Mwahahaha!
Oooohhh… I’m becoming more and more evil… Apparently, my current efforts of avoiding him are not convincing myself that he’s not even worth a minute of my precious time, then why not do a bit of reverse psychology? Why not saturate myself with his God-forsaken pathetic existence and eventually dispose of him like a used cigarette butt? Maybe this will end the unreasonable
Monday, May 05, 2003 4:37 PM
Where's the fire?
I don't know if it's going to be in the news tomorrow but the rally in San Miguel was a spectacle. I don't know exactly what happened, but those workers must have done something terrible because they're all bruised from the high-pressured water those firemen sprayed.
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Took the Inferno test. (Finally!) Well, Purgatory is definitely better than hell.
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You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.
4:28 PM
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Extreme |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | High |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Low |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Moderate |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Low |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Low |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Very Low |
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
3:48 PM
Versions
An Episode
I swear, I shall never employ a helper once I have my own house or my own family. I have said this when I was ten years old, I will say it again. It has been ten years and I still feel the same way.
I am a very patient person, mind you. I hardly ever lose my temper. And right now, I am seething mad but I am not going to lose it.
I woke up at noon today to find the condo empty. There was a note on the dining table saying that my housekeeper went to the mall. This was understandable: it was her day off. I didn’t mind it. In fact, I like being home while everybody else was away.
But then, I had to leave myself. So I called up the basement guard to tell the driver to get the car ready, but lo and behold, the car and the driver weren’t in the parking lot. Bigla na lang sinabi sakin na magkasama pala silang dalawa.
Telling me that she was going out is really okay. In fact, that’s what I want her to do. But not telling me that she was going to use the car intentionally is seriously pissing me off. And right now, I am not going to blow my top. I am counting one to ten backwards and forwards just to keep myself calm.
And it better happen soon.
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Come to think of it, how many times has she taken the car without me knowing about it? At this rate, that option my mom just presented a few days ago is starting to look really tempting.
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Reruns
Don’t you just hate it when you have those rotten memories in your head that you just can’t get rid of? I can only get over things when I actually understand the reason why they happened. I have the tendency to play back each scene according to every detail so many times I’d put season reruns to shame. What’s worse is that I get to have those choose-your-own-ending kind of deals. I imagine my own coulda-woulda-shoulda’s with each replay.
Imagine how destructive I would be if this was my mutant power.
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Watched X-men today. Hugh Jackman is still as delicious as always. The movie is really awesome! The fight scene between Lady Deathstrike and Wolverine seriously amazes me.
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Downloaded Rex Navarrete’s funny quips in Kazaa. I guess I can now lay off the caffeine to keep me awake at night. At least for now. Personally I like Maritess and the Superfriends and Mom, The Panty Menace.
Friday, May 02, 2003 9:15 PM
Blech!
Summer class started last Monday and already I have a paper due tomorrow... When will it all end???
Thursday, May 01, 2003 9:49 PM
Check this out. Which level of hell do you belong?
8:52 PM
Labor Day
It's labor day. No class, no work. But then I'm not so sure about the last part because GMA keeps changing holiday dates. Good thing Stefan (my boss) just told me to report next week. So, happy labor day to all the working people out there! I'll be joining you soon.
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The first part of the VIARE-ROC Strategic Planning started today. The moderator of both orgs was kind enough to ask me to give a talk (was a bit surprised she asked me). The topic? Constitutional Revisions. How else can you fuse political economy and theater together? The talk went well from my part at least. I tried my best to get the point across. In a room full of artsy theater types, talking about technical things like this is not really their idea of fun. I knew the topic would be boring no matter how crucial it was to student organizations. When I was President of VIARE last year, revising the Constitution was a really tedious job. We had to restructure the whole executive board. Although secretly I admit I found the process interesting. It was an application of the stuff I learn in class. It is really a breath of fresh air when you see theory in practice. It's even more exciting when it happens within the university. If theater and political economy are two things that are close to my heart, guess my labor day wasn't bad considering the "labor of love" I did for VIARE and ROC. Naks! Nagiging corny na ako.
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Speaking of "labor of love", yesterday was the last day of the security guards in school. They had a lunch party today, and it was a good thing I crashed. And man oh man did I see a lot of grown men cry! Mang Bobby (who worked in the university ever since the agency got the contract) was the most emotional of the lot. I hugged him and thanked him for everything he did. He was always the one who waited on VIARE when we did late-night rehearsals in the Telengtan. He would always smile and say hi every time I go to class. Going to class tomorrow will certainly be different...
But I would miss Mang Hernanie most of all. He was the one always standing under the heat of the sun in front of the school. Every time I cross the street, he'd say hi and strike a conversation, always wishing me to have a good day in class. At the end of the day, he'd be there still as I walk home and he'd always ask how my day went. He never complained about my childish ranting about the J-man and COMELEC. And he'd talk about his life too. In a university that has such a sosyal environment, Mang Hernanie was the one keeping my feet on the ground. Yes there is a different world out there and it can be harsh for some people. He'd always tell me to work hard and make sure to help those who are not so privileged as I am. Naiyak ako kanina, parang naging tatay ko na rin siya. And when he hugged me, he said, Tama na ang iyak, ganyan talaga ang buhay... basta pag-Presidente ka na, kunin mo na lang akong bodyguard mo. I just laughed and told him if that happens, he'll be on top of my list.
Wala na rin sila Mang Judy at Mang Danny... I'll miss talking to them in Bisaya whenever I go to the cafeteria...
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Tomorrow will be different indeed. It's funny how we realize how important people are when we lose them. We've always taken the guards in school for granted. I'm guilty of getting pissed with Mang Larry (whom I apologized to after lunch) one time, when classroom reservations got screwed up. It was really cool to talk to their wives and kids this morning. These are real people with honest jobs, who dealt with our brattiness and ensured our safety nonetheless. I wish the student body could have done something to prevent the school from chucking them out. It's really amazing how this university makes policies so arbitrarily. Nobody knew till the last minute that the guards will be replaced just like that. Nevertheless, I admire the students who organized the party today even though we could have done more. At least, it gave us the chance to say our goodbye's and thank you's after the fifteen years of service the agency provided.
