TAO OF ALBA

Wednesday, November 30, 2005 3:41 PM  
university of asia & pictorials chorale

The chorale didn't win the gold last Saturday at the Nationals. We were awarded Silver, nevertheless. We put up a good fight and the one who won certainly deserved the award because they were outstanding. Congratulations, St. Louis University!

Master was not disappointed. None of us were. Yes there was a feeling of loss especially since we got the Greek title to defend, but then national competitions are more difficult than international ones, and I am saying that in spirit of utmost humility. The standards in the Philippines are different in the sense of whatever imagination can allow one to conclude. Until the next competition then.

I miss Greece though.

Especially when we were running around the CCP Main Theater lobby getting our pictures taken with the other choirs including the gold and bronze winners (just like what we did in the Odeum in Preveza). If this was a pageant, we'd win the Congeniality Award.




* * *

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 5:36 PM  
this isn't an ad

My hands are injured from a laundry incident. Hehehe. Sounds serious, noh? I won't use Ariel detergent anymore. The damn thing ate through my skin. I wonder what the company labels as the active ingredient... hydrochloric acid? Perhaps.

I think I will go back to Tide.

drinking song

It's techno and tirelessly played at Cena, Greenbelt 2. I can sing some of the lines but I wouldn't post them here because I'm afraid they're not accurate. All I know is that it sounded good with a beer and several glasses of margaritas.

Incriminating pictures will be posted once my usb port will be fixed. I don't know when that will be.

I noticed something though... as terribly pale as I am, I never turn red when alcohol enters my system. What does happen is that my eyes becomes terribly chinky... among other things.

basic essentials

A friend got an award at the UN World Summit in TUNISIA. (Congrats dude!)

me: I still don't understand why UAP doesn't want to give you the MA.
her: I don't need the MA. I need... tissue...




* * *

Friday, November 25, 2005 3:50 PM  
I changed the font because I fell in love with Trebuchet MS. Don't you have that itch sometimes? Humans can never be really satisfied with what they have. And why should they? The world offers endless possibilities, why stick to one alternative?

This, of course, does not apply to boyfriends.

I stayed up late last night because I wanted to watch Judging Amy at 10:35 (Hallmark has un-status quo schedules). It touched me. "God doesn't require you to succeed, He just wants you to try." That's from Mother Theresa I think.

Hear that, conscience?

Mother Theresa forgot to say, He wants us to try really, really hard.




* * *

Thursday, November 24, 2005 5:17 PM  
I have been hanging out at ricebowl journals the past few days. It was hard to remember my member ID after two years, but I've rekindled my love affair with it. As you can see can on the left, the zoro bird is linked.

I love being Asian. There's something so mystical about it. When the chorale was in Greece, people were curious about us. Whenever introduced, there was a tinge of inquisitiveness in the air, like we were more than singers from a distant land, but conjurers of oriental magic.

I broke my fifth glass in the office. I've been here for a year and a half and five innocent glasses have met their doom. Now I need that magic thing more than ever to put this waterglass whole again.

The staff was given incentives for the successful conference last week. I believe I have more than a broken glass to worry about. I feel a grave injustice being done right under my nose.




* * *

10:45 AM  
Whilst ironing the clothes I was going to wear for the office, CNN told me that Dubai has NO taxes.

Dammit. I live in the wrong country.




* * *

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 11:57 AM  
I am catching up on my reading and this entry will be a further testament to my queenship of nerd-dom.

As usual, The Economist provides joy to my brain cells. Dr. Benjamin Friedman, one of the economists who unknowingly tortured me with his research essays in College, has written a new book called The Moral Consequences of Economic Growth. The review was good so I would like to get a copy of this for Christmas 2006 (because it will still be released next year).

Dr. Richard Smalley, the Father of Nanotechnology died at 62 due to cancer. I think he could have lived longer if nanotechnology had a torried love affair with medical science during his lifetime. But he was a wise man and he knew science cannot even touch the face of spirituality.

JJ, my boss, signed a package for me sent by my father. With a note that says "for your reading pleasure", I am to read Alexander Pope's An Essay on Man. My boss wondered why would I read such, I could only say it's how we bond. I think I can only have a good relationship with a person if conversations not only involve colorful stories but intellectual tweaking. Don't get me wrong, though, I am only a nerd, not a genius, possibly a smart-ass at times. JJ shakes his head maybe in disgust, sometimes I think he has no imagination. I would like to be wrong about that assumption in the next few months, preferably before I leave the Institute.

Last Sunday, I made two discoveries: my uncle (who admits he got a fat dollar paycheck this year for his corporate law services) is a poet, but aren't we all when we become passionate about the things we do? The second discovery involves my car. The housekeeper thinks Bembol is newly-painted and she wouldn't believe me when I said that I just had the car washed. I even lied to have gotten it waxed so she would stop pestering me about how much the paint job cost. Lesson learned, I have to get Bembol washed more often so people wouldn't think much of his age.




* * *

Monday, November 21, 2005 4:34 PM  
My conferences for the year are finally done. I am human once again and I feel great! My schedule for the next few weeks cleared up, but chorale concerts and competitions are taking over. This might be my only week of freedom so I've planned domestic stuff to do:

1. sort and send the laundry to the wash
2. buy groceries
3. cook

I will keep it at three things because if I list more than that, they will never get done.

I've placed 5 THINGS on the task bar on the left. Just click it to see the product of what office boredom can bring me to accomplish.




* * *

12:34 PM  
For the first time, I had a free weekend.

It was bloody boring.




* * *

Friday, November 18, 2005 12:06 PM  
peeled onion

I want to be a peeled onion. I feel like shrek, I have too many damn layers.




* * *

Thursday, November 17, 2005 3:17 PM  
My all-nighter in the office paid off. The big boss never gives praises but he hands out criticisms sparingly like fast food brochures in a newly-opened mall. We especially dread his emails because of statements, though blind items as they are, unfailingly hit you in the gut every time. Things like, "I think in UA&P they teach you to be as detail-oriented as blah blah blah." --- things that you can't really take it against him but still makes your conscience experience pre-requisites of meeting the devil. (You can read about my week of bad luck below.)

But today was different.

Although I received not-so-good-but-not-really-bad news about my enrollment in UP's MA Comparative Lit program (I deferred it to June, when I take a study leave from ICD), it was Arce ice cream on a hot day to find the rarest email from my boss in my inbox:

From: Jesus Estanislao
CC: JJ Moreno
Subject: Thanks and Congratulations

I want to convey to all of you my sincerest thanks and congratulations for a job well done.

Many of our Fellows came to me afterwards and gave praises for the “logistics” and program flow we followed. These were almost flawless.

They also made comments about the good crowd, not only in terms of numbers but also of quality of people there.

I know all these were possible because of your dedication, commitment, patience and prayers.

I do thank you for your heroic efforts towards making this event successful for ICD.

I congratulate you for a job well done.

I apologize for the extreme pressure I put upon all of you to challenge you to come up to the usual high ICD/ISA standards that you obviously rose to in the end.


I have two saints to thank. I loved the roses, by the way St. Therese. You the man, St. Escriva.

Maybe I've been watching too many Joan of Arc episodes. Or maybe it's just simple fact of life that all humans like me just take for granted: God is really all about hints. Just have faith.




* * *

Wednesday, November 16, 2005 1:50 AM  
At some point I knew I was bound to lose my cool. The whole point of having an electronic parking card would be to have the advantage of parking anytime in RCBC's basements. Somehow, I questioned the idea of having valet parking in the fourth basement because it seemed ridiculous to have men walking around and flagging every parker they see after all the slots have been filled and forcing each car in every space they can. It might be because the architect of this building probably forgot to anticipate that yes people must have cars to park despite the fact that he happened to have the brains to design the smartest building in the Philippines. Well, people have their flaws, but I lost my respect for that asshole. How can he disregard parking? The idea is as simple as arithmetic and yet he's the one with the college degree and the license.

I hate the fact that I am stuck in this office the entire night just because some valet person went home since his shift is over and he probably left my keys in the parking management's office.

I was stupid to have left my housekeys with the car key too. I'm at fault with that and don't worry, I'm kicking my ass just thinking about it, especially when it took me a few seconds to contemplate if I should just hand everything in my keyholder instead of usually handing out the car key exclusively this morning. Now even if I take the taxi to my building a few blocks away, I wouldn't have the keys to my door. S.T.U.P.I.D.

But somehow, I can't seem to let the parking management's bright idea of having a valet service (in the basement!) to just pass. I found a flaw to the system. A very important flaw that can ultimately change lives of every parker in this building once she does overtime because of a huge conference the next day that she could very well have hell to pay if the necessary preparations aren't arranged. She has more things to worry about, like the praxis, the powerpoint presentations for the GOCCs and GFIs, the instructions for the ushers, the shit that she has to put up with from Makati Shangri-la because of their uptight account officers, etc etc, how can one have time to think about parking????

The idea of having to worry about parking more than doing my job is moronic, ridiculous, and utterly INCONVENIENT despite what those assholes in Basement 2 say.

I want to talk to the parking manager.

Hell, I want to talk to the architect and hack his head off. If it wasn't for his idiotic parking hollywood-squares-type design, no one would ever to suffer the strangeness of not being able to go home because your key was held hostage by an innocent valet attendant. It just kills me. It just f*cking kills me.




* * *

Monday, November 14, 2005 5:02 PM  
I want to crawl under a rock and die.

I was writing a bulleted program of Wednesday's conference in haste. Copy and paste there. Drop a name here.

I guess I should have checked for grammar.

The big boss was pretty irritated to catch me not check for grammar mistakes the second time around.

He gave the paper back to me with pencil marks that said, what kind of grammar is this?

There were two offensive lines, clearly a product of copy-and-paste syndrome. Instead of placing "introduction of speaker", i wrote "introduction to speaker".

Little things that make a grown woman cower in shame.




* * *

7:23 AM  
I am going back to school, and I intend to do that this semester. --- more like a demand from myself rather than telling the world what I'm up to. I just have to see this through.

I've been in the office since 6am. I like the silence. the sound of my fingers typing on my keyboard seems so musical. I hope everybody is going to be late so I would get to enjoy this moment longer. But then there's an 8:30 meeting and I couldn't sleep well last night because I was dreading it.

Not that I was scared of getting iced again. Puh-leeez. That's so grade school. I'm just nervous because the idea that this is a professional conference we're talking about is staring at me in the face. And I have booked guests like the British Ambassador, the Secretary of Finance, and some foreign Corporate Governance experts to speak.

But UP says I have to take 10 units and maintain a GWA of 2.0 or higher. Pressure.

The Chorale is taking the whole July off next year to go to Italy and Spain for competitions and a tour. More Pressure.

Pressure to resign, that is.

I can't. How can I get the addiction to stress out of my system when I sometimes think that (aside from caffeine and blood cells) it's the only thing pumping through my veins?

Well, at least I'm in love.




* * *

Friday, November 11, 2005 6:22 PM  
St Escriva talked to me

I have a similar calendar mentioned below on my desk. I finally flipped it to read the rest of the quote.

"Certainly you can go to Hell. You are convinced it could happen, for in your heart you find the seed of all kinds of evil. But if you become a child in front of God, that fact will bring you close to your Father God, and to your Mother, Holy Mary. And Saint Joseph and your Angel will not leave you unprotected when they see you are a child. Have faith. Do as much as you can. Be patient, and be Loving. They will supply whatever else you need."

I'm a believer.




* * *

Thursday, November 10, 2005 7:05 PM  
I took the heat again today --- the third time in my almost two-year stay in this company. I had a feeling the moment he called my officemate and I into his posh office that he was going to give me one of his sharpei forehead looks. Our updates regarding a 100-pax conference next week was dismal. I have mentioned panicking last monday, and getting frustrated with officemates who just seem to sit pretty without a freakin' care in the world.

I took a verbal beating, but with no expletives, which makes me think maybe the whole thing could have been better if there were because I would just simply hate the big boss without reason. And though I hate to say it, I wish JJ was here to pacify the wrath of god.

We took it in stride. He hit home after all. So words came in the right ear and went out from the left. And even if he spoke in English because for some reason a Cebuano Harvard-trained Economist can't talk tagalog, we understood what he wanted to say: bakit daw hindi kami magaling?

Ahay... malamang hindi siguro kase wala kaming framed diploma sa desk namin na nakasulat VNIVERSITAS HARVARDIANA.

Anyway, no sense arguing with a holy man.

And speaking of holy, the back of his St. Escriva calendar was facing me and had a quote from the saint's The Forge, No. 598. Although it was a paragraph, the first line was in large fonts. It said:

"Certainly you can go to Hell..."

Did I say I that irony is one of the reasons why I like working here?

What joy.




* * *

Wednesday, November 09, 2005 7:29 PM  
one of those funny daddy texts

Two days ago, I talked to my dad and complained that I felt so poor given my salary and gas expenses. Of course, the state of the Philippines' political economy and France's riots would be to blame every time we have conversations like these.

Today he sent me an SMS just to see how I was:

Hi poor girl. How are you? Do you feel poorer today? If so, then you are in the boat as many Italians who feel the same.

I've said this time and again: my dad can be uber-cute.




* * *

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 12:54 PM  
over the weekend

I got drunk (twice) with a bunch of gay men. Don't you just love the loss of inhibitions when you hang out with these beautiful people? I wasn't intoxicated with the alcohol (okay, maybe I was) but I was more intoxicated by my companions' creativity, wit, charm, and outright passion for being just themselves.

I've also recently discovered that I can sing the Flower Duet when I am drunk. Take note: the Soprano One line. (I am an Alto Two).

Buy-1-take-1 Smirnoffs on Thursdays at Absinth are my new best friends.




* * *

Monday, November 07, 2005 11:41 AM  
i am panicking

Quite honestly, the urgency to confirm 150 participants for the conference on Nov 16 (Wednesday next week) is overwhelming me.

TO THE POINT THAT I AM GETTING PISSED OFF WITH OFFICEMATES WHO DO NOT SEEM TO FEEL HOW URGENT THE MATTER IS.

And i really think that people who put Hitler's picture on their yahoo messenger avatars are sick. S. I. C. K.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.




* * *

Thursday, November 03, 2005 9:03 AM  
I seem to have a funny record when it comes to vehicular accidents.

Two days after I got my very first driver's license, I bumped a Civic. I swore it was the most ironic thing that ever happened to a driver.

Yesterday I finally got Bembol's new registration certificate with my name written on it as Bembol's new owner. Last night, just hours after the documents arrived on my desk, I bumped a BMW. (It was nothing major though).

Now if anything happens this February 2006 when I get the new policy from Standard Insurance, I swear, I am going to confine myself in a mental institution.




* * *

"There are things out there that I want to discover, that one day this will all make sense... I am searching for the meaning of this cosmic existence that we're in. And probably when I find the answer, I'll go and look for the anti-thesis."
5 THINGS

1. I sing in the University Chorale of the University of Asia & the Pacific, and we swept four gold medals in Greece for our very first International Competition. I got to do my two absolute favorite things: singing and traveling.
2. Although I am an Alto Two, my range widens up to Soprano One when I am drunk. Think Charlotte Church's Flower Duet. (I think it has something to do with swallowing the diaper pin when I was a baby). Dancing barefoot in debut parties may also be expected.
3. I work in an non-government organization focused on private sector development. It involves sleepless nights in the office and the constant worry of displeasing a former Secretary of Finance. My other two bosses are harmless.
4. I like my men in uniform. The Military has always been a fascination of mine even before when I was finishing a BA degree in Political Economy.
5. I no longer watch The Bold and the Beautiful much to the joy of friends and family.
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